National Coming Out Day is October 11th, Spread the Word
Seems like a no-brainer these days, right? Everyone is out and about, and the revolution is over.
While I am grateful for the leaders in the glbt community blazing trails, it is also important for all of us in the trenches to change minds one person at a time, by being ourselves.
Yesterday was a prime example. It was the first day of Senior Preschool at Church. Our Timex three year old ("takes a licking and keeps on ticking") needed assistance in adjusting to the structure of a Sunday school class (circle time was a challenge), so I stayed to parent help, hand out napkins and mediate non-violent solutions as necessary.
No mediation needed as it turns out. The two new Sunday School teachers ROCK. They're even considering singing the "Go now in peace song" I've long borne in irritated silence with alternate lyrics substituting "spirit of love" for "love of God".
However, while the kids were playing, and one parent was being wrapped by three year old females in dress-up gear, she told me that her daughter was "all about Princesses" and that there were constant marriage ceremonies being acted out with pretend Princes at her house.
It made me so grateful for our daughter who, like our older son, only thought of marriage during the preschool years in terms of living with her best friend, since you marry people you love, right? She didn't do princesses, brides or happily ever after.
The mom did say it was a little awkward though, since she was going through a divorce, and the whole happily ever after thing needed some finessing.
I told her it would be a little awkward at our house too, since we'd only been able to marry after being together for seventeen years, as a same-sex couple we could hardly demand that our kids measure committment by a marriage license and ring.
The woman seemed stunned, you could see the cogs turning. Then the cogs took hold, she touched my shoulder to connect, and told me she'd never thought of that. The privilege of heterosexual marriage was suddenly revealed.
Because she was a nice Unitarian liberal, totally open-minded I'm sure, but had never thought about the assumptions inherent in the happily ever after myth, and that it applied only to straight applicants. I saw a light bulb turn on in her brain.
Light up every bulb you can October 11th, and every day. Marriage equality matters for us, for our children, for every man and woman who deserves equality under the law.