Federally Nonexistent

We’ve been engulfed in college funding applications since January 1st, and my wife finally tackled the FAFSA yesterday, and sent this email to me about the definition of parental status on the form:

Gotta love this....makes it pretty clear doesn't it? Sigh...

“This question cannot be left blank.
Select the answer that describes your parents' marital status as of the day you submit your FAFSA.
"Married/Remarried" does not mean living together unless your parents' state of legal residence recognizes their relationship as a common law marriage.
According to the Defense of Marriage Act (1996), “...the word ‘marriage’ means a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife, and the word ‘spouse’ refers to a person of the opposite sex who is a husband or a wife.” Therefore, same-sex unions are not considered marriages for federal purposes, including the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA).
If one of your parents is widowed or divorced and has remarried, answer the questions about that parent and your stepparent.”

I wrote back:

Pretty fucking clear.