Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Robin Reagler of the OTHER mother is having a blog fest in honor of Marriage Equality Week

She invited other bloggers to enter into the spirit of the theme, and post blogs on a topic a day, "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue". Today's topic is "something new" so what better thing to mention as something new than Domestic Partnerships in Oregon. They're new, they're somewhat marriage equality related, and I have a secret to tell:

We didn't rush out first thing and get domestically partnered on February 4th. Having written a whole book and at least fourteen articles on the topic of same-sex marriage, it would have been a no-brainer to assume we'd have been first in line again (after twenty-one years together and three kids), but no go.

Bitter? Yes. Jaded? Yes. Gun shy? Hoo yeah! Practical? Absolutely. With one kid two years away from college financial aid applications, it seems more important to investigate his chances at money based on my income alone(since his other mom and I are "legal strangers"), than the symbolic/legal applications of a piece of paper that may be moot by November following an end run right wing voter referendum, with another bitter check in the mail announcing it null and void.

Of course, we have legal documents up the wazoo to protect us already, doing some of what domestic partnerships have on offer. I think any couple planning a family should go for Domestic Partnerships and enjoy the rights and privileges on offer--how we would have loved to have both our names on the birth certificates from day one. Adopting one's own kid is a strange and scary concept, and we went through three different, expensive procedures to procure parental rights for my spouse. In fact, there are all kinds of good reasons to do it, including showing straight folks how important it is, and I rallied in the rain to support the cause.

Any moves on our part are glacially swift. Just call me sour grapes, twice burned, three times shy and a fuss budget waiting to see how history plays out, but Domestic Partnerships are a new part of marriage equality in Oregon. Hurrah!


Mo said...

This pretty much echoes how I feel about the domestic partnerships. Watching all that stuff go down at the end of December was pretty surreal (and not that surprising), but I'm really glad that domestic partnerships are now available. My partner and I have not yet made our way down to fill out the paperwork, but we will. (We have a child on the spectrum also and are trying to figure out where to go for kindergarten next year.)

BerengariaD said...

We're crossing our fingers for the Alameda high-functioning autism class. If you have a Special Ed designation, then a PPS person can help find the right program for your child.

Mo said...

That's my first choice too, but it looks like they are recommending Peninsula for us. My partner checked it out today. We live about equidistant to both programs, but I think the demand for Alameda is high.